Thursday, February 2, 2017

 TRUMP  COMMANDS   MEXICO   TO   BUILD   SPANISH  MAIN
        SEAWALL  TO  FOIL  THREAT  OF  ISLAMIC  PIRATISM


Famed  Waterfront  Property  Buccaneer
Inaugurated  To  Preside  Over
Potomac  Fever -- Swamp  Fleet 

Sea  Level  Rise  Makes  Mar del Lago  Natural Base
 For  Dread  Privateer  Trump
The President ( be he kin o'the Dutch Admiral?) having by  Surprize got  the  weather  Gage  of  the  Low  Whig  candidate,  Mifstress Clinton, told  a  Capitol  quarterdeck  crowd  far  too large  to reckon  on  his  fingers  that,  for sure  as  a  rising  tide  lifts  all galleons, he  giveth not  the  Fig  of  Spain  for the huge  Flight of Whiggish  Lubbers, Liberals &  such-like  bilge rats flushed  down the  Virginee  Tidewater  from the fever swamps of the Potomock.
WE  BE  AN  EQUAL  OPPORTUNITY  SHANGHAIER
                     THE  PIRATE  SHIPPING  NEWS
Many an Aarrrgh!  has been heard  in  the Port O'New York 
of  late,  as the  China  Trade  be  run  hard &  fast Aground with bo'suns unable to find & Shanghai  enough  able-bodied  Heathens   to man the yards. 
As  Trump's  embargo  of  Barbarees,  Levanters  and  Lascaradoes leaves  none  for  press - gangs  to  belay,  a  Subscription  is  being raised at Fraunces Tavern,  to  article a  savvy  bilge-barrister   to survey Ye  Black  Book  of  Admiralty, and see  if  Bosun Bannon's scurvy Mussulman  ban  be  not contrary  to the Code.



 New-Captured Logs 
  FOREIGN  PIRACY   
Al Qaeda's been Codswalloped & Holystoned this side of Hormuz,
But The Council On Foreign Pirations reports them Sallee ISIS marabouts have landed their poxy  Sinbad  Jihad  in  the  Hook of Holland, where the corsair  caliphate  hopes to hold  the Europarliament hostage for increased subsidies on xebec careenage & peg-leg repair.

Ye Pyrate Law Review
 Former  Harvard Law Review President interviews  Bofun Watts
 USE IT TO READ THE SCIENCE  LITERATURE ? 
WHY SINK ME, THIS BE ME THERMOMETER  READING  EYE !

         NATURAL PIRACY MAGAZINE      
      Avast, Ye  Warmin'  Earthers! 
 The Fig of  Spain  to yer squally monsoon    n'mega-drought  scuttlebutt, sayeth Lord     Admiral   Monckton's   Senior   Gunner ,  Mister Ebell: if  it be  hot  in Madagascar,     why, man  the capstan, wear ship & tack        through  the  Northwest  Passage  to 
  plunder  the sea otter trade!  more>\

Cap'n  Ken Haapala be ye Flying Finn what wants to helm NOAA, and keelhaul  draw & quarter warm water undeniers  thar.
AVAST , AND  STOP  YER  PRESSES !
Piracy Has A Long & Brutal Ahoystory. 
 Admiralty   law   contains   useful
  precedents  for counterterrorism. Due  process  is  paramount, so lay  aft  to  see  how  it  deals with Somali sea  dogs: 
If  they  wears  the  Red  Sea  rig,
We make'em dance th'hempen jig

Democracy? 
That chase be  making full sail, but good  Governance  before the  mast can include components besides   democratic   participation, says Francis Fukuyama. (Bloody landlubber!) 

God looks after drunken bilge rats, children, and Old Ironsides, but on what strange tide did Cap'n Trump shanghai Palm Beach voters into orderin' a neocon legal agenda aloft into the riggin ? more»       







Essays & Affadavys


The Institute for Advanced Filibustering
suggests sensitivity training could help reduce the carbon footprint. of corsair coastal raids.

A  double blind study using Tunis arrack as a Demerara rum placebo revealeth  hands whats  given  extra  grog  tend  to  Rape, Pillage  & Loot  all  the  more, and sure as perdition are thus difposed to Burn  less. 

JOURNAL OF  THE  MODERN  
PIRACY  ASSOCIATION

Them Frenchy Anthropocene Semioticians be askin' if quotation marks around decadal temperature averages be the new boldface?
 Arrh, and  Cap'n Koonin's WSJ op-ed  be old & lame as  the smoked rats in  the  lobscouse  o'a  grog  shop  what  runs up  a  "Fine Food" burgee.  Don’t expect such usage to overhaul Bristol fashion English ... more» 
Available in better grog shops coastwise


The Weekly Black Flag

Couch  Admiral  of  the  Red  States  Kristol wonders how yer Arab Left can openly embrace  Muslims listing  far  to  starboard ?.   says  Hussein Ibish, (By the Black Spot, that be a Barbary Boatswain sure) such matey gestures oft  be  returned  by a  poxy  kiss  o'Davey Jones camel more»


The Paris Pirate Review

Th’ doxy was dazzled  by Cap'n  Sartre’s  brilliance  as  a scuttlebut  philosopher.  For Simone  de Beauvoir, smart as paint  terms  like 'essence' , or  'contin'ency'  were like a  chest  O’gold pistoles' or a  carton  of  Habana  Disque Bleu  segarilloes ... 

 Booty cant buy happiness.
 Yet there be a strong correlation between the clime o' a country 'n its general level o' happiness, accordin to  Sigfried Singer. Senior Sawbones O' the K-Street pirate fleet.  But it's hard to believe hotter is better when the tar on yer hat starts to run...more»

Antarctica be a red state. 
March o' the Penguins ‘affirms more than Global Cooling- thar be norms O The Code like monogamy sacrifice'n child rearin'” says a critic. But some o' those penguins be gay... (Bilge!)

Thar be genuine intensity in the sufferin' o' Frida Kahlo. Yet thar be somethin' vaguely repulsive in the adulation she receives.   Victimhood, aft all, be not beatitude... (Poxy landlubber!) more»  

NEW GEAR FOR DAVY"S LOCKER:
GUNNERS  RAVE OVER REVOLUTIONARY  METALLIC HYDROGEN CANNONBALLS 

“ Sink me, n'I have felt it meself,” Freeman Dyson said
“The glitter o' nuclear weapons.  It be  irresistible if ye come t' 'em as a scientist: an illusion o' illimitable   power.” Arrrh, Tis time for another broadside-- hail the powder monkey  to fetch 10 more kilotons from the magazine ..more»  


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