Sunday, March 24, 2013

SUFFERING FOOLS GLADLY

Watts has posted this notice on WUWT

 Note the highly apposite date:



On April 1, Fred Singer will talk on “Global Warming” to the Science Group luncheon at the Cosmos Club in Washington. For additional information and reservations please contact Ken Haapala by March 28 at Ken@SEPP.org.
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Urgent: Reviewers Needed for Climate Change Reconsidered-2

The Nongovernmental International Panel on Climate Change (NIPCC) is seeking credentialed individuals who are willing to serve as reviewers of the forthcoming NIPCC report Climate Change Reconsidered-2.

Reviewers will be needed between April and August 2013 for various chapters and sub-chapters of the report. A list of topics addressed in the report, and for which reviews will be needed, can be found under the links and sub-links listed on the NIPCC Web site’s Topical Archive page. To volunteer as a reviewer, or for more information, please send an email toNIPCC_contact@nipccreport.org.
Thank you, your help in this matter is greatly appreciated.
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Saturday, March 23, 2013

ELIMINATE !

The Australian reports that The Institute of Public Affairs has recommended a new and cost effective way to reinforce the Murdoch-Rhinehart Climate Consensus. 


The Institute proposes the next Liberal govenment deal with radiative forcing by abolishing climate change and energy efficiency research altogether.



Wednesday, March 20, 2013

THE COLOSSUS OF BUSH

                             Who needs the Biennale ? 

If you're sailing to Byzantium this summer, skip Venice and drop in on Albania's Côte Concrèt to view the astonishing retrospective of works by Heads Of State awaiting you in the postmodern pearl of the Adriatic, Fushë-Krujë, contemporary art capital of Nato's 28th nation!


The show features the nocturnes and cat paintings of Xhorxh Bush 43, who already stands immortalized in bronze nearby upon a plinth previously occupied by Enver Hoxa, Fearless Leader of the Peoples Republic of Sqip, and King Zog of blessed memory before him.

Albania hopes to suck tourists ashore like an Illyrian Charybdis by turning its phalanx of coastal pillboxes into a pantheon of bronze colossi honoring those unsung Skanderbegs of the culture wars, America's Former Vice-Presidential Chiefs Of Staff, from Spiro Agnew's mentor Artur Smër, to Cheney's loyal lieutenant Skotor Libbë and Dan Quayle's brain trust head, Vlym Xristol.

The Post-Palladian architectural treasures of this golden shore rival those of Skagway and Aruba, and National Review, Weekly Standard and Front Page seminar cruises should heed the siren call of this New Atlantis, featuring the ancestral home of John Belushi and Mother Teresa International Airport, whence Bush '43's whirlwind Balkans tour dropped in on Fushë-Krujë in 2007. 

While my friend Taki avers the bronze  colossus celebrates Bush ridding the Abanians of Kosovo, or Kosovo of the Albanians, it may be the Fushë-Krujënes apologetic ex voto for having stolen GWB's watch off the Presidential wrist as he worked the welcoming crowd.




Tuesday, March 12, 2013

TWO EYED JACKS

HAS MY FORMER HABERDASHER, VISCOUNT MONCKTON, BEEN MAKING SARTORIAL  COMMON CAUSE WITH COAL BARON DON BLANKENSHIP ?

 AS THEY  SHARE A SHIRTMAKER,  PERHAPS THEY SHOULD  SHARE A WANTED POSTER AS WELL - 


Friday, March 8, 2013

Usshering In The Fiscal Apocalypse

Six thousand sixteen years after the Earth's creation, (4004 BC-2013 AD) underfunded palaeoclimatologists can avoid sequester shortfalls and Congressional ire by adopting:

                The Seitz System of Condensed Concordia,

compact & cost-effective geological column that accommodates the Differently Facted by condensing deep time into the Biblically Correct 6,000-year format authorized by the father of geochronology, the good and great Archbishop Ussher.


25 Oct. 4004 B.C.: Encounter with Nemesis knocks Lucifer out of Oort Cloud.
1 Nov. 4004 B.C.: Finding the Earth uncomfortablymolten, Adam and Eve cover their nakedness with asbestos waders.
3714 B.C.: The first biotechnologist, Cain, invents cyanobacteria.
3554 B.C.: Komatiitic lava inundates earliest crust; Noah's Ark incinerated.
3264 B.C.: Methuselah begins to notice passage of geological time.
3124 B.C.: Archaean stratiform sulfide deposits form, making Bronze Age possible.
2844 B.C.: Tired of reading graphic granite, Imhotep invents hieroglyphs.
2584 B.C.: Earliest sedimentation; discovery of slate leads to stone tablets.
2444 B.C.: Breathable atmosphere develops; first sermon preached.
2384 B.C.: Descendants of Tubal Cain inaugurate banded Iron Age. Sphinx starts to fossilize.
2024 B.C.: Nimrod the Hunter erects the Geosyncline of Babel.
1914 B.C.: Advent of diapirism; Lot's wife turned into first salt dome.
1794 B.C.: Children of Ham split from Israelites, insisting that the Burgess Shale fauna are kosher; chowder invented.
1704 B.C.: Charshumash the Hittite bitten by first vertebrate; lawyers emerge from slime.
1624 B.C.: Samson attempts perovskite synthesis; laboratory of the Philistines implodes.
1444 B.C.: War of the Chaldean Succession; Pangea broken up in accordance with the Treaty Of Uruk.
1334 B.C.: Shang Empire abandons efforts to invent compass when China drifts over South magnetic pole.
1264 B.C.: Moses invents hydrofracturing; opening of Red Sea rift drowns Egyptian Army.
1194 B.C.: Odysseus runs aground on Gondwandan Riviera; Circe founds Club Teth.
1104 B.C.: Ezekiel see de pterodactyl 'way up in de middle ob de air.
1024 B.C.: Goliath stepped on by irate Barosaurus, David takes credit.
794 B.C.: Jonah swallowed by Carcharas megalodon.
564 B.C.: Pythagoras publishes Air-Earth- Fire-Water phase diagram.
454 B.C.: Marble deposits form in Greece; Parthenon erected.
338 B.C.: Aristotle concludes that quartz is just another polymorph of ice, like
diamond or pearls; this is known as the Wisdom of the Ancients.
48 B.C.: All of Gaul is divided into three parts by the collision of Corsica with the European plate.
The Year Zero: Nothing much happened, there being none.

A.D. 31: Miracle of the Loaves and Ichthyosaurs.
A.D. 70: Paul, formerly Saul the Tarsier, suffers identity crisis on the road to
Damascus and writes Epistle to the Cephalopods.
A.D. 344:  Hordes of Huns perish when Romans breach Gibraltar escarpment, flooding the Mediterranean Desert.
A.D. 494: Snakes evolve and are driven out of Ireland.
A.D. 974: Lief the Unlucky lost with all hands after amorous Kronosaurus spots his dragon ship.
A.D. 1066: William the Conqueror invades England by walking through northern France.
A.D. 1215 Magna Carta eaten by Velociraptor.
A.D. 1324: Gunpowder and plate armor introduced; dinosaurs hunted to extinction.
A.D. 1384: Dante Alighieri publishes 1st description of core-mantle boundary.
A.D. 1444: Flowering plants appear; War of the Roses commences.
A.D. 1484: Leonardo da Vinci designs Archaeopteryx.
A.D. 1492: Mesoamerica emerges, thwarting Columbus's discovery of Japan.
A.D. 1522: Asteroid impact shatters Aztec Empire. Hernan Cortes mops up.
A.D. 1588: Spanish Armada frustrated by continuing absence of English Channel.
A.D. 1636: Earliest primates appear; Harvard founded.
A.D. 1664: An English primate becomes Primate of Ireland; Archbishop Ussher
successfully deduces last four out of ten digits of the age of the Earth.
A.D. 1688: Hapsburg Iceboat Armada invades England via London-Bruges
canal; Inquisition burns Isaac Newton at the stake on suspicion of alchemy.
A.D. 1754: Gibbons evolve and write master-pieces like The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.
A.D. 1776: Washington's Mastodon Cavalry routs Hessians at Battle of Hudson Canyon.
A.D. 1835:  After attack by a giant ratite in the Galapagos, Darwin, returns home a convinced Neptunist.
A.D. 1846: A milestone in ape evolution is passed: birth of a son to Bishop and Lady Wilburforce.
A.D. 1867: Cosmos superstar Alexander Von Humboldt wins the Napoleon lll Peace Prize by sabotaging the Baltimore Gun Club's lunar cannon.
A.D. 1894: As glaciation peaks, Cecil Rhodes proposes Capetown-to Cairo bobsled run.
A.D. 1914: Younger Dryas sea-level rise unleashes U-boats into the Atlantic, Holy Roman Empire wins World War One.
A.D. 1948: Harry Truman proposes using ice to contain Stalin; Cold War begins, ending Younger Dryas

A.D. 1954: Glaciers retreat from Fulda Gap; de Gaulle invades Russia.
A.D. 1957: Civil Rights Movement challenges Jim Cro-Magnon laws.
A.D. 1961: Rachel Carson links DDT to Glyptodonts' decline.
A.D. 1969: Last sighting of saber-toothed tiger in Central Park; Elizabeth Taylor divorces Proconsul.
A.D. 1971: Andy Warhol paints Campbell Soup cans on walls of Lascaux caverns.
A.D. 1983: Australopithecus wins the America's Cup.
A.D. 1988: Homo habilis  nominated as Pat Robertson's running mate.
A.D. 1990: Last Neanderthals perish in siege of Kremlin.
A.D. 1991: Saddam Hussein discovers fire; Anthropocene tar sands form in Kuwait.
A.D. 1997: Citing black smoker emissions, the EPA bans continental drift. 
A.D. 2013  Leveraged buy out of North Pole by Club Med leads to cancelation of Christmas

N.B.: As all dates except the first are +/- 2.3 billion years,readers are cautioned not to use this chronology for purposes of exegesis or the calibration of carbon-14 dating.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013